Looking out the window of the library just now, the grey sky obscures a distant hill enough that, as it rises above the Palouse, I immediately mistook it for an island. Then reality set in and I knew what I wanted to write about.
I really miss Seattle. I know I complain about living here all the time, and generally it's jokes and hyperbole, but there's more than a grain of truth to it all. I complain about the lack of trees here, and everybody says "but there's trees here!" and I say there aren't. WSU is an island in the middle of a desert. I can see the edge of it from where I'm sitting now. That's not a way to live. If I'm being honest, the general tree saturation here isn't all that different than, say, my neighborhood, but in Seattle you get patches of unused land filled with trees. Here, the trees are corralled and kempt, and if they weren't watered they would likely die. I miss the air back home. I miss not having my mouth and throat constantly dry. Every time I inhale, my nose burns with the dry air, scented by dry, lacquered wood. I especially miss the Sound. Not that I saw it all that often, or that I would think about it or take note very often, but suddenly I have a great urge to see it.
What I don't miss is living at home. I truly enjoy being able to see a mess in the living room, or in my room, or in ANY room, and being able to tackle it on my own without worrying about who's stuff I was misplacing. I like cooking for myself, and shopping for myself, and I really like having the initiative to do it on my own, because when I'm at home I can feel myself turning off.
I know that my present plan is going to take me very far away from home, and that's got me thinking; when does home stop being that house beside the school? Say I do get into JPL. Say I'm happy working there. California is damn far apart from Seattle, both physically and environmentally. At the risk of invoking the demon of Klishay, home is where the heart is, and my heart is definitely in Seattle, so does this mean I'm just doomed to be perpetually discontent by my environment? What about the long term? Can I plan on retiring there? I'd honestly love to become a teacher at AHS one day, but it's my impression that people generally settle down where they land. Maybe I find somewhere I like more than Seattle.
There's not too much point to this train of thought, but it does tend to make me very thirsty.
I really miss Seattle. I know I complain about living here all the time, and generally it's jokes and hyperbole, but there's more than a grain of truth to it all. I complain about the lack of trees here, and everybody says "but there's trees here!" and I say there aren't. WSU is an island in the middle of a desert. I can see the edge of it from where I'm sitting now. That's not a way to live. If I'm being honest, the general tree saturation here isn't all that different than, say, my neighborhood, but in Seattle you get patches of unused land filled with trees. Here, the trees are corralled and kempt, and if they weren't watered they would likely die. I miss the air back home. I miss not having my mouth and throat constantly dry. Every time I inhale, my nose burns with the dry air, scented by dry, lacquered wood. I especially miss the Sound. Not that I saw it all that often, or that I would think about it or take note very often, but suddenly I have a great urge to see it.
What I don't miss is living at home. I truly enjoy being able to see a mess in the living room, or in my room, or in ANY room, and being able to tackle it on my own without worrying about who's stuff I was misplacing. I like cooking for myself, and shopping for myself, and I really like having the initiative to do it on my own, because when I'm at home I can feel myself turning off.
I know that my present plan is going to take me very far away from home, and that's got me thinking; when does home stop being that house beside the school? Say I do get into JPL. Say I'm happy working there. California is damn far apart from Seattle, both physically and environmentally. At the risk of invoking the demon of Klishay, home is where the heart is, and my heart is definitely in Seattle, so does this mean I'm just doomed to be perpetually discontent by my environment? What about the long term? Can I plan on retiring there? I'd honestly love to become a teacher at AHS one day, but it's my impression that people generally settle down where they land. Maybe I find somewhere I like more than Seattle.
There's not too much point to this train of thought, but it does tend to make me very thirsty.

No comments:
Post a Comment