Finals Week Update

So the hour right before I have my linear algebra final (Math 220), I needed to stop by the last EWB meeting of the semester so as I could talk to them about the latest design of this thing I'm working on for them (more about that later). The meeting goes quick, and I even pick up a friend who's in my 220 class and take him back to the Honor's dorm to help him study (which is what Cole and I were doing for the past six hours). Unbeknown to me, the EWB was having a free pizza meeting to encourage people to come to the last meeting (when they would otherwise be studying their asses off or more likely relaxing their asses off). Not many people came to the meeting, so there was lots of pizza left over. I wasn't very hungry (I had eaten, and lately I've felt sick every time I have), but I took the pizzas off their hands. I figured that if anybody at honors wanted some, they would appreciate it, and if not we could always give them out at the exam. Well we studied hard for the last half hour before the test, and rushed out the door, completely forgetting the pizzas. The test went well (more on that later), and when we came back, we found some of the Honor's Hall study room regulars lying on the floor, eating the pizzas. One of them looked at Cole and said "we ate some of the pizza. I hope you don't mind." I chimed in, and told them that was kinda what it was there for, and apologized for not putting a FREE sign on it or something. Another (without pizza), perked up. "We can eat those? I'm getting a slice!" and jumped up to do just that. I left about twenty minutes later, and the pizzas were almost finished.

I've been spending a fare amount of time in Honor's Hall, studying in the study room on Arras' floor along with Cole (Arras' presence is implied). These folks are pretty cool dudes and doesn't afraid of anything'n'stuff.

(more about pump)
So for the EWB, I've been working on the design and CAD drawings for a frame to mount the linear actuator to for our failure test. Basically, we're setting the hand pump up with some sort of resisty-pumpy-loop-thing and rigging a linear actuator to pump it non-stop till it starts to break. The frame needs to mount the actuator at a specific distance from the mount point on the pump handle (the sweet spot between the actuator's maximum and minimum reach), it needs to not be the part that breaks, and it needs to be movable so we can test different pumping angles (which will put more or less pressure on the pump's fulcrum). I spun my wheels for the last couple of months on this project, and last Friday I finally just went and talked to Miles, who runs the machine shop that we pay to fabricate all our parts. Well I talked to him for about ten minutes, and he already came up with the best design. Period.

At this point I'm feeling stupid for not talking to this guy in the first place, but regardless, my job is now to get him a CAD drawing of the main piece for the actuator frame, and he planned to weld it to the pump's frame after he milled it out. That said, I needed to talk to the rest of the EWB before approving this thing to be welded, which turned out to be a good call, as the team decided that we really want to try avoiding any permanent modifications to the pump frame. Right now, the plan stays the same, but I still need to finish the CAD drawing, get it to Miles and talk to him about building it to bolt to the frame instead of welding it. On top of this, I need to study for the chem and Japanese finals, and I'm leaving this Thursday.

(more about 220)

220 went amazingly well. I was paranoid (rightly so), after not doing so well on the calc final (more on that later), so I met up with Cole around noon, and we studied straight until 7, when we packed up and hiked over to the final. Again, it went amazingly well. It went so well, in fact, that I spend about an hour after finishing the exam, doodling on all the exam pages. This wasn't ENTIRELY useless, as for each doodle I did, I checked over the math on that page, which turned up more than a few mistakes. Even after spending more time doodling than I did actually working, I still left the exam room with plenty of time to spare. I was waiting for Cole to finish so I could get back into Honors to get at some of the pizza there (I was a little hungry by that time). While we were walking back, I told him this, and he pointed out that I could have just called Arras. I conceded this, but retorted that it had given me a chance to doodle all over the exam. He gave me a pained look, as he had spent the entire time reworking this one problem that was a little more irritating than the rest. I had just powered through it, and found that it came out well in the end, but he had tried simplifying the problem and gotten bitten. Still, he and I are both confident that we passed with super-A's. As far as my friend from the EWB, we left before he was done. I hope my quick tutoring helped him some.

(more about calc 172)

The Calc 172 exam was easy. There were a few problems that gave me trouble, but I feel like I managed to solve them well enough. The problem came from issues I had where I should have had any. The last section of 172 was on vectors, which should have dovetailed nicely with my 220 class, but didn't (for reasons I won't go into here). I had fanatically studied everything up to this section on Saturday, Sunday and Monday, and was completely stumped when it came to it. It was aggravating to no end, because I KNEW the problems were not hard at all! But only if you knew the key facts about the problem. This, of course, put me in a sour mood afterward, and looking for something to take my mind off the test, I ended up calling Reily, and we hung out a bit. This test is one of the main reasons why I'm working so hard to prepare for the upcoming tests, and thankfully I'm pretty confident that I'll do well in my last two tests (chem and Japanese). Additionally, one of the only reasons why I have the will power to stay up and study Japanese tonight (just previously I went over a quick review with Colin, my IT/ChemE friend) is because I did so very well on the 220 final.

(japn oral)

Because I'm reporting on finals in its entirety, and I don't think I've posted about the Japanese oral exam I had this last Friday, I figure I'll talk about that here. Essentially, the class was 'randomly' paired up, and each pair had to come up with a skit in Japanese for two different situations (talking about their vacation on the way to the post office, or a job interview). Both these skits had to be memorized, and one would be picked randomly to be presented. I think that's a little extreme, but whatever. I put "randomly" in small quotes earlier, because I managed to pick my partner because the partner I had randomly picked was absent, as was my friend Ian's. We asked the teacher if we could pair up, and she agreed. Ian and I proceeded to make up the most bizarre set of skits we could, using just the words we had already learned (plus as many as we were allowed to look up). The first skit (the vacation) was amazing, and while the second skit was good, it wasn't nearly as fun as the first one. Sadly, our second skit was chosen, and we performed that to the best of our ability. Ian was perfect, I however didn't do as well. I didn't do terribly, but I didn't do as well as I could have. Still, I'm confident I've passed the class, which is honestly my main concern right now.

(current studies)

Currently I'm procrastinating. I need to review all my Japanese flash cards so I don't make a fool of myself on the written exam, but I also wanted to make a blog post for finals week while I'm still riding the high from my last exam. Earlier I stormed through last Fall's chem 105 exam with Collin, which oddly enough was the very final that HE had to take. Based off THAT I'm ery confident, but I just know that chem is going to find some way to screw me over. An hour after my chem exam, I've got my Japanese written exam, and even after that I've still got to finish the CAD drawing for the EWB and get it in to Miles before I leave.

OH! As one extra bit of news (and in order to complete my review of all my classes), my M E 116 (CAD) class finished up this last Friday with our final project. I had paired up with Thor, who is competent, but a bit lazy. It seems to me that he's more of a comp sci guy (which is his other major) than an M E guy, but still a VERY good partner. We also kinda picked up a girl named Lee, who seemed kind of along for the ride for the most part. She was very introverted, but she worked hard, and actually contributed more to the team than I did. That sounds bad, but it's true, just not the whole story. When Thor approached me, or maybe I approached him, he was thinking about modeling a trebuchet. I suggested that we do a mechanical calculator, and we started off on that. We spent a couple days spinning our wheels and doing research to see if we could actually pull this off, and decided that if we WERE going to try for this, we would need a simple, backup project that we could use in case it fell through, which it did. This backup project was a programmable music box that Thor found. Basically it's the same as any music box, only you can remove and replace pins depending on the tune you wanted to play, and the musical times were all adjustable. Furthermore, and this is the cooler part in my opinion, it was designed to be made by an amature carpenter. We even managed to improve the design by replacing a special set of belt and cog wheels that had to be bought, with wooden gears that could be fabricated. In the end I was really impressed by the results, and I made certain to keep a copy of everybody's files just in case I ever decided to make a version of the thing myself. THAT SAID, I need to tell you why I didn't do as much on this project as everybody else. While Thor and Lee worked on the machine proper, I immersed myself in US patents describing the mechanics of an INCREDIBLE mechanical calculator known as a CURTA (also a Pepper Grinder, for it's unique shape and opperation). After a few days of research, I understood the thing entirely, and I still feel that we could have modeled it, if we didn't have only two viable work days left. With this, I decided to scrap the project entirely, and went to work on the music box, which was mostly finished. But don't think I didn't contribute. For the barrel of the music box, Thor had just extruded a cylinder of wood about 10" in diameter. This doesn't work in the real world, and the instructions for the music box had the cylinder made up of eight pieces glued together. So I work to fabricate this. Furthermore, the Thor had just cut into the extruded cylinder to make the gear on the barrel, so they were essentially one piece. I cut mine out of a sheet of wood, the way an actual wooden gear would be made, and attached it to the side of the barrel. I'm not trying to deride Thor, as he DID build most of the rest of the music box, including the crank and gear that drove the barrel (Lee built the rack that the tines were mounted to, which was in turn mounted to the box), but I'm MUCH happier that the whole music box model represents something that could be constructed in the real world.

So them's finals. For once I think I'm really experiencing the stress associated with finals, where as I had previously only done the bare minimum and taken what I got. I'm feeling good about this.

Pre-break update

My Japanese oral exam is tomorrow. For my vacation I went to the Sky Castle and met Jeff Bridges. Every morning we would eat a lot of meat and go to the top of a mountain and sing. It was very fun. My partner held a party in his pants and everybody came, so now his house is not clean. It's going to be an interesting test.

So I'm officially paying for my own food in full now. Clinton and I have decided that we're not really cooking group meals, because whenever he cooks I'm never around, and whenever I cook (rare as it is), he's never around and never eats what I cook. It's a little sad that we've failed in this capacity, but it would be foolish to ignore the problem and keep going as is. Really it's going to be a relief that I won't have to worry about shopping for what he likes, and he won't have to deal with my preference for more expensive foods.

I've recently had to admit that I'm not a good cook. Tuesday I cooked some yellow chicken curry with pineapple. I managed to make something delicious, and completely over-spice it in the last ten minutes like an idiot. That said, it's still really tasty. The curry, however, is not the problem. The rice is the problem. I cannot cook rice. for whatever reason, it either burns, or gets undercooked, or overcooked, or a bizarre combination of all three. The curry is pretty good, but the rice is so bad that it makes the curry taste worse. Sadly I hate to waste food, so I'm going to munch on it until it's gone (hopefully before I leave for home). OH! It's also currently being stored in a Redvines container because all our tupperware has disappeared (most likely into Clinton's room, or Cara's apartment).

EWB is... interesting. I've experienced how a group like this should be run thanks to Skunkworks, and this is significantly different. It's like being back on the Chief Sealth team. Everything is lackluster and lethargic. Even contributing personal effort yields sub-par results, as it is difficult to get an equally enthusiastic input. I feel that Skunkworks could have done in a week what these folks did in a semester. THAT SAID, I wonder if I would be able to change anything even given a position of power. I had the opportunity earlier this week when we held elections for the various club offices, and I decided not to run for any of them. I'm currently, unofficially in charge of the HPPV, and things really aren't very much better. I don't think I can really critique these clubs for being less professional than Skunkworks, because a) Skunkworks is kinda amazing and that'd be unfair to these clubs, and b) in college I'm finding it surprisingly difficult to contribute as much as I did in high school.

Developments

Yesterday, while trudging through the snow, I decided I was going to make a dragon. So I called up my friend, told him I'd be making it outside his dorm, and he joined in. It looks pretty cool even after its head fell off...

So status quo is maintained, school is still in a state of disarray and hanging by a thread due to my won stupidity. Thankfully I know exactly what went wrong this semester, and I can fix it easily next semester. However the continuing, every day irritation that comes with know exactly how and why you f--ked up has become an almost constant backdrop to all my activities. This, combined with Steamcon, and planning for next year, has led to an interesting change in my everyday machinations. I've been playing with my tablet more and more recently, and leaning heavilly towards right-brained activities in my free time, instead of simply seeking mindless, instant gratification. I haven't completed any drawings to decent completion, but I've been exploring inking, coloring and especially shading techniques using color. At some point I'd really like to start drawing regularly, but we'll see how that goes.

School has no changes as of current. The classes I've been worried about are still a concern, and I'm going to study face until I bleed during this next week so I can be totally prepared for the finals.

The ASME is trudging along, but I'll admit that it's another source of stress for me. We currently have no budget. Everything we've gotten so far has been out of our own pockets, and while I believe this is money well spent, I cannot help but feel agitated that the REASON we have no funding is because everybody simply forgot to go to the funding meeting... I'm doing incredibly cool things, but I'm afraid that we're wasting our time a money by not having the cash to actually finish this thing, and that we're leading the cart before the horse. When I joined late last year, the bike had already been designed and we in the process of being built. We're still building that same bike, mainly making up for setbacks that came when we were ejected from our previous workspace and moved into a temporary space (we lost some key bike parts, as well as the molds for making said bike parts). The material we're using is simply amazing. It's incredibly strong and practically rubber (you can bend it a great deal before it deforms predominantly, let alone breaks), and exploring this stuff's capabilities is half the fun. However, I learned this year, that our bike is fundamentally flawed, in that sitting on it causes the wheels to bend. They can hold our weight easily, they just bend in half when they do. Furthermore, I've found out that our bike design was based off an arbitrary concept bike that looked cool, and not on any actual engineering concepts. We should have done our material testing before building the bike, but I wasn't a part of that. Right now I can only fix whatever problems come up and plan for next year, but doing that on my own budget is more than a little worrisome...

Self Inflicted Problems

As a joke, my prop for Steam-Con is going to be a steam powered wrench. As in a giant combination wrench (the non-adjustable type of wrench), to subtly poke fun at how many of these things we make and wear do not, in any way, need to be steam-powered. I'm working with the help of a gentleman-pirate that two of my friends know (they're also getting help on their props from this man), and during the course of figuring out how to build this wrench, I drew it on his workshop chalkboard. Because of this, he has come up with a plan and a design for an actual steam powered wrench that he wishes to design and build that has practical use (though certainly not over-sized like mine). He is ruining the joke in the most awesome way.

The school is doing two things that are screwing me up. They're screwing me up for reasons that are ENTIRELY my own damn fault, but they're screwing up up nonetheless, and in the stupidest way possible.

Good intention number one: We want every student to have a guide to help them take the classes that they need to graduate in the shortest time possible because that's what they want and that makes us look good.
Fantastically stupid method of enacting this intention: Advisers for every student (a very good idea), with advising holds to prevent the students from signing up for classes before talking to their adviser (a fantastic way of screwing this up).
How I am screwing myself over because of this: I fantastically suck at doing things outside of some specific routine. Hell, I suck at just maintaining a routine. Furthermore, for some reason, my adviser insists on students coming to his door and signing up for an advising time on a sheet of paper posted there, instead of via e-mail. I must say, this is not unreasonable. Any functioning person should have no problem doing this. There WAS a time before electronic communication, where stuff like this was the norm. That said, it seems completely impossible for my brain to wrap itself around the concept, and as with previous years I have completely failed to sign up until too late. He's taken the paper down. So ONCE AGAIN I must contact him and beg for a bit of his time. This usually means he ends up rushing me through a session, telling me the same thing that I can get off a piece of paper I have in my room, and ultimately not helping me in the slightest. Every time this time of year rolls around I swear that I'll sign up on time, get a timely advising session out of him, and get actual help on stuff I need to know about. Like how to double major.

Good intention number two: We want every student to be proficient at writing persuasively and arguing their point.
Fantastically stupid method of enacting this intention: You are not allowed to become a junior until completing a writing portfolio and having it pass some sort of grading.
How I am screwing myself over because of this: I took my English 101 class in my first semester, freshman year. At the end of my second semester (the spring semester), during or close to finals week, my English 101 teacher informed everybody that she was transferring to UW, and if we wanted to get anything signed by her for the portfolio, we should do it now. I was sick and tired of class in general, let alone her class which was ridiculously harsh (possibly to her credit, possibly to her detriment), and I didn't get anything signed. I also didn't (and don't) think any of my papers were good enough to USE in the portfolio. So I currently have exactly nothing to put into a portfolio that's due at the end of my next semester. My solution? I'm going to take a TON of writing based classes next semester. Having almost completely ignored my adviser's advice for the past two sessions, I don't think he's going to be too keen on this course of action. That said, I don't think he keeps track of my classes from year to year in the slightest.

So that's where I am right now. Steam-Con will be awesome, and I'll forget my troubles there, but EVERY SINGLE TIME something like this comes up, I realize I've screwed myself over far too late and I curse my own stupidity for not being more paranoid. This has been going on for years and it's only getting worse, despite the advise and support of literally everybody I know.

Deal

High above in his impeccable tower of steel and glass sat a man wreathed in shadow at the end of a long dark table in a room of great importance, his head in his hands. Desperately he scanned the numbers on the papers around him, streams of data that may have well been raging rivers to drown him.

The click, clack of the visitor's shoes broke the silence like bad news. If the door had opened, the light from the hallway would have streamed into the room, perhaps lighting upon some simple miracle to save this man, but that would have been too simple.

"Not yet," the visitor thought.

"Having fun are we?" it spoke. The ragged man's head lifted from it's torment just enough to give an acid glare at the visitor.

"I'll take that as a no then," it said, and smiled. "I know I'm supposed to enjoy the subtleties of torment, but even after so long, I do love watching such a complete failure in His design as you."

"This was YOUR doing! GOD DAMN IT DON'T PLAY COY!"

"Haha," it laughed. "No I had nothing to do with it. I'll be honest, and don't take that lightly.

"I never once made plans against you. I honored our deal with no ill designs, no tricks, no loopholes or devious devices. I went out of my way to help you. Know that. No you are perhaps the only human being to ever receive my true blessing and honest help, and you are such a complete and total failure that you STILL manage to fuck it all to.. hell." It chuckled at that last addition.

The ragged man's rage died down quickly, and he settled painfully back into his chair.

"So what now?" he asked. The visitor simply leaned on glass wall of the window and stared dreamily over the city.

"This it?" he prompted, but silence settled in again.

"You here to collect on our deal?" His mumbled sarcasm did little to hide his fear. The slightest twist in the visitor's face betrayed a smile before he shifted to turn towards the ragged man.

"No."

Slowly, the ragged man shuddered and shrunk in his chair. His hands weakly cupped his face in his palms, and for all the life of him he wished he could cry out.

"No," continued the visitor, "that would be too simple, though I'll admit I'm hardly here to offer help. You've still got a way to go. I'm just here to tell you that it's not too late." And at this, the man turned smoothly and walked out the door, throwing it wide so the warm glow from the hallway touched upon the collapsed, shaking form at the end of the table.

Bad Times

Had a low-key Halloween (despite what certain Facebook statuses may have said). Ended up staying up far too late playing video games with Richard. All in all a success.

It shouldn't surprise that I haven't posted in a while, blah blah blah should post more often.

I haven't been feeling up to posting lately because I've got nothing really good to post. I'm worried I'm going to fail Chem, Calc and Japanese, and this really bothers me. Chem is hard, but I think I've got a handle on things now, they're regular and I'm understanding the content. That said, I did absolutely terribly on the last exam, and I can only hope my grades are good enough to make up for it (though my grades aren't the streams of A's I'd like them to be). Japanese is my own fault. The homework is like 80% of the grade, and it's super easy, but it's also regular and frequent, and that's not something I can deal with apparently. Japanese is my current battle.

What's REALLY scaring me (aside from everything) is calc. Calc is hard. This is not something I'm used to. I'm not bad at math, during tests, I used to be able to reliably derive whatever I didn't know or remember from what I did, but that's stopped working. Now, the math is nothing BUT little tricks and rules you have to remember in order to deal with the various types of things they can throw at you. It's not all connected, it's drawing from a million and one different places and I can't see where everything's coming from immediately. I've done very poorly on the last two tests. Worse, I actually studied for the last test and I still got thrown! I'm worried.

Aside from that things seem to be going well, especially since Terry randomly cleaned and rearranged the living room. I say "cleaned," but I should really say "reclaimed." Charlie has a tendency of treating that room like it's his room, and leaving his stuff everywhere. Terry and I have decided that whenever Charlie leaves his stuff lying around, we're going to put it in the closet, where Charlie has free reign, as Terry and I keep our coats and shoes in our rooms. I'm really happy with how the room looks now. Aside from being really truly CLEAN (and not just Charlie's idea of "livable"), it's been rearranged so that there is MUCH more space. The corner where the TV lives has been compacted, and although the users are much closer to it, the TV is rather small, so it still works fine. The computer in the corner has been given the large (and especially comfortable) chair, so that not only makes using it that much nicer, but also puts the chair someplace out of the way, and the bean bag chair has been stuck some place out of the way (because bean bag chairs are the least comfortable and most annoying piece of furniture possible). What this all adds up to is a full half of the room has been devoted to the table, which not only gives lots of room to maneuver around it (where before there was scant), it also makes having people over (which we do very frequently) MUCH more comfortable.

In the strain of further good news, Clinton and I have set up a regular meal schedule. Really I should say I joined his meal schedule, because he'd been making regular... "meals," only I didn't know because he didn't tell me. So far, I've gone one week, and this one I missed both days...

I'll take comfort in the knowledge that life is a continual battle, and that while some fronts may be pushed back, others will have caved in. I just need to take care of these issues before it's too late (I just hope it isn't already).

A good way of staying up too late

It would be hard to explain how this affected me, but I almost cried. This is really cool and more people need to do it:
http://vimeo.com/15091562
I found that via DetentionSlip.org, a blog I read about the horrific state of some of our school. I won't call it good, but they made a good point in the blurb they wrote about it. This can be done for a couple hundred dollars (probably quite a lot less), and it would make a truly amazing experiment for class.

Things appear to be... shifting. Up until recently my Friday-Sunday schedule was completely filled. DnD on Friday, GURPS on Saturday and Calc/Chem-splosion on Sunday (usually spilling over into Monday). Dnd and GURPS have both been dropped. While the Calc/Chem-splosion is still there, I also need to study-face the calc-book until it bleeds (the book not me. I'll have bled dry by then). I've also been picked up into a singularly epic GURPS group on Saturday, which technically offsets the previous GURPS being dropped, but I don't know. It just generally feels like everything is changing.

I'm ranting....

We're also trying to set up a regular meal plan. I'm cooking Monday and Tuesday. Clinton cooks Sunday and Friday. Wednesday is leftovers, and we'll see what happens for Thursday and Saturday, but we should be fine.I'm not worried about Clinton holding up his end, he's really reliable, but I worry about holding up my end... We'll see how it works.

The GURPS group is amazing. I don't expect any of you to understand this, but it's a Stalker module. Stalker is a pretty cool game set in post-Chernobyl... uh... Chernobyl... It's a science-fiction thriller deal based off the novel Roadside Picnic (or alternately, the novel Stalker, based of the movie Stalker, based off the novel Roadside Picnic), where bizarre "phenomenon" manifest like natural traps. My favorite, and the one I always use to exemplify these phenomenon, is called a whirligig. It's a sort of gravity well that, when objects (or people) get within it's radius, draws them spiraling inward, faster and faster until they get ripped apart by the centrifugal forces. I mention this, because the group I'm playing with is HEAVILY focused on roleplay, and it brings out the contrast between the GURPS system and DnD. The long and the short of it is that I'm having a TON of fun, and I've started trying to collect our adventures in written form on my adventuring blog:
http://monitorlight.blogspot.com/

I'm up far too late at this point, so I'll call that quits.

Burial

Grandpa's going to get buried tomorrow. I didn't really know him nearly as well as I ought to have. I think that's my biggest regret.

Dad once told me a story about him, how he used to make his own bullets. He'd mix up nitroglycerin, I can't remember specifically how he'd do it, but I do remember that it had to be kept frozen so as it didn't explode. Grandpa would fill the bullet, and cap it with wax, then put the bullets in the freezer. Once they were frozen, he'd shoot them at a target taped to the wall in the basement, and the wax would hit the wall with so much force that it would leave pock-marks. I remember once when we went to his house, I checked out the basement wall, and sure enough, there were pock marks in one of the walls. I seem to recall that they were right by the stairwell, to the left as you went down the stairs.

Every so often, when I'd actually get a thank-you note out to them, I'd say I would write more. I never did.

I do remember more about him than that though. When I was little, I was going to try making a door bell for my room. I got a kit at the Harrison Ford Museum, and he and I started working on the electromagnet. He taught me how magnet wire was insulated with a thin coating of plastic that had to be scraped off. I think he tried getting me to wind the magnet neatly and tightly, so all the wrapping lined up nicely. I don't think I had nearly the patience, and I remembered the magnet degrading into a gnarled mess. I never did finish that bell. I still probably have pieces of it floating around my room.

I really wish I'd been a better person when I was little. More patient, with much more self drive. Hell, I still wish I had more self drive, and I probably always will. I have heard it said, that there would be more time travelers if it weren't for the fact that our first instinct when traveling back in time is to kick the crap out of our younger selves for being so bloody stupid. My point is that I guess I shouldn't think too much into it. I was a kid. It's not like I had the mental tools to be able to reach inside and change myself.

Grandpa would have been an incredible influence if he'd had the chance, and I need to keep working to better myself so I don't make mistakes like that again.

In Defence of Heterogeneity

A while ago, probably a long while ago at this point, I recall reading an article, sent to me by someone, I'm no longer sure who, about how Subway switched it's official policy on how it instructs employees to lay cheese down on its sandwiches, adopting tessellation over its previous strategy which left some parts of the sandwich uncovered, and doubled up on others. I'll assume at this point that you know what I'm talking about, because I'd rather not go into a detailed description of the geometry of cheese. My thoughts on this subject gelled just this morning, for whatever reason I cannot tell, to the following conclusion: As a culture we're far more concerned with homogeneity in the products we buy than uniqueness. I won't make a big fuss over the idea, because it has been said far more thoughtfully, on more important subjects, and by better writers or orators than I, but I would like to point out; can you really notice the difference of how the cheese is lain while you are eating your sandwich? I don't think so. I'd rather keep my food heterogeneous, if only for purely aesthetic reasons.

Safari Time or A Story with Two Introductions

This evening was my birthday... according to Aeris. The original intent for my birthday, back on the 25th, was to play some epic Minecraft lan (which we did), get some pizza (which we did, but you'll hear more that of later), and head over to WSU's Nuthouse improv comedy show. I'll suspend some tension over the results of that last point (I'll also point out that this may very well be the first time I've ever celebrated my birthday in the same month, let alone on or about my day of birth). The Minecraft lan party went amazingly well. We played Minecraft, and really that's all there is to it (or, indeed, to Minecraft). So here's all of us, sitting around our various computers, focused intently on the construction of each of our parts of this truly swinging bachelor's pad, every so often lifting our heads slightly from the monitor to mumble something like: "Should we get the pizza? Anybody hungry yet?"

And this was how it went. It sounds truly invigorating and ruckus-raising, I'm sure, but this was entirely pleasing to me, and I was not just content, but genuinely happy. At some point, several hours into the 'party,' we actually called the pizza place. About an hour after that, we sent Thor to pick the pizzas up. Not too long after this, we realized that we were going to be late to Nuthouse, and Thor hadn't gotten back with the pizzas yet. So when they DID arrive, we decided that we barely had time to grab slices, and rush out the door and across campus to the theatre. When we got to the doors, we were informed that it was completely sold out. Lisa, whom we had agreed to meet at the theatre, left her seat momentarily, and informed us that it was some important weekend (either a game weekend or a parent's night or something not even half remembered), and we should have made sure to get there half an hour early. So, apologetically, we had to leave, and head back.

Not too sadly, mind you, because though it may sound unenthusing, I got to go back and play more Minecraft with my friends.

I told you that story so I could tell you this one.

This week, incidentally while everybody was sitting around the table playing GURPS, Cole, Aeris and I made to meet one of Cole's theatre friends for Nuthouse. Aeris, was disappointed that on the 25th she couldn't be here for my party, as she had to go to an event for her bird group (I call it a "bird group" as I cannot remember what it is actually called), so she pointed out that I was FINALLY getting to Nuthouse, and that this was the extended conclusion of my birthday (or something vaguely similar).

So ends, in the fashion of my long-winded, self-indulging, rants, the introduction. This next bit is the part with the REASON why I am telling you all this.

My vest almost... ALMOST, won 15 points. Not me. The vest.

Nuthouse improv was, as usual, very good. I enjoyed it immensely. I'm terrible of thinking of suggestions fast enough, so I cannot say I got many witty ones, or bad ones, or any ones used, but I can say that the suggestions that did get taken were very good, and much better than any I could think up. One of the sketches they did that I particularly liked was called something like "human puppet." The premise was that two players would each pick someone from the audience, and while the players acted out the scene to the best of their abilities, the chosen audience members would act as puppeteers for the players, moving their arms and legs and heads for every step, arm movement, etc.

Points to those who guessed why I liked this one particularly well before this point. I was sitting on the edge, up front, and I was one of the first to raise my hand. I made a bit of a funny face when the player noticed me and passed me up at first, and she chose me right after. Walking up, I figured that my black Skunkworks coat (which I was still wearing at that point) would get me hot under the lights, and I preferred to move around encumbered only by my vest, so very quickly I took my coat off and dropped it off at my chair. The MC, noticing my vest, made some sort of comment like "good choice sir! It's Safari Time!"

To say I could not let this pass does not do the situation justice. There really was no other option left to me. I returned once more to my chair, this time to fetch my remarkably awesome brown wool fedora (with a fake gator-skin hat-band, adding to the image neatly), which, walking back on stage, I donned with a flourish, to the approval of the rest of the theatre, and particularly of the players.

I cannot say much for the rest of the evening, which is, by no stretch, to say that it was not incredibly fun, just that my memory contains no specifics. The entire night was wonderful, and the sketch I participated in I performed to the best of my abilities, but with no particular skill. I worry a little, that I might have been somewhat rough with my player, but looking back I cannot see any thing I could have done differently (she was a bit unresponsive to what I was trying to do, I think). But after the sketch was done, and the points were getting produced, on a whim by the MC (as is traditional with improv comedy), one of the players suggested that fifteen points be awarded "to the vest." Sadly this was not made official, but I was... touched, I guess, by the suggestion.

I worry about my appearance to others, particularly right now. Not even my physical appearance, but how I come off to people in general. One of the things I've been thinking about changing, was my vest. It is bulky, and cumbersome and makes me look somewhat foolish, and while I do value everything in it, very few of the things I keep in it are necessary for everyday use. Envious of Cole, I sometimes think of ways I might move toward a more suave mode of dress, that would still allow me to carry a good deal of the things in my vest. Additionally, I've been feeling a number of attacks to my personality recently, nothing important, but still it makes me unhappy. But in opposition to this, it is overwhelmingly validating, and encouraging, to have something so integral to my personality and self, justified by a crowd of laughing people, and a thumbs up from one of the genius performers on stage.

Frelling FRAK that was an awesome phail!

Just a quick update (I'm sure this'll please you mum).

I just got finished with this week's chem quiz. Last night I ACTUALLY reviewed the chapter with a friend, and we made note cards! I was SUPER prepared. Come the quiz, I realize my calculator has been sitting on my desk this ENTIRE WEEK.

So here's me, sitting in the chem 105 classroom, infamously known as "the pit," crammed next to someone who is less prepared than me (and that's without my calculator), and I have nothing, literally no resources, to draw on for this problem. So you know what I did? I buckled down and did the entire thing BY HAND. THAT'S RIGHT!

I am ridiculously proud of that. It's not that there was a TON of math, or that the math was even THAT hard, this is chem 105 we're talking about, it's all multiplication, division, addition and subtraction. That's not what I'm proud of. What I'm really proud of was the fact that given this adversity, this key system failure, I could STILL work it through and provide my level best!

Now I'm considering doing math by hand more often...

Nerd

I have come to the conclusion that Clinton is a normal person and I am a nerd. Consider.
In his spare time he:
Plays videogames
Watches TV / browses popular internet sites (usually at the same time)
Hangs out with his girlfriend
In my spare time I:
Draw pretty pictures (recently about superhero-robots)
Play with my Arduino
Read webcomics
Clinton has a job, and is supporting himself. I am living off my parents.
Q.E.D.

Additional: I stayed up late building Sarumon's Tower in Minecraft...
My first public-server build, and one of the "admin" (not really but essentially) players started helping me out. This caused major problems, tho, because anything he laid down, I couldn't change, which is why the white hands are floating away from the face of the tower, and not set into the sides... Ridiculously cool...

Notes on what I am doing:

EWB: If I haven't explained already, stands for Engineers Without Borders, and we are working on a modified bilge pump that will be sold for very cheap to farming towns in Africa (someplace specific, but I cannot remember where). We're working on stress testing the modified pump, and producing a document that can be given to our affiliate company, Emerging World Technologies.

I just spent the last three weeks working to find somewhere we could borrow the necessary load sensors to do a... hold on. As I was saying, I was looking for somewhere to borrow the necessary load sensors to do a detailed analysis of what force was being applied to the pump during normal use. I ended up talking to two gentlemen (one professor, one technician) about the possibility of doing this. It was really awkward. I am just starting out on the team, and while enthusiastic, I really don't know much about the pump specs, what's going on, etc. The professor had actually worked with the team before, and knew more than me. I did not know this going in. Furthermore, the team really didn't see much need for what I was doing. I have a tendency for wanting to know or do more than is necessary, and we really didn't need to know EXACTLY what our force curve looked like, in order to run the pump to failure and see what breaks. So after meeting with these people, hemming and hawing through them not knowing what I needed or why I needed it (and myself knowing little more), and making a complete fool of myself (in my own mind I hope), the team decided to let it go for now, and get back to it if our initial tests deemed it necessary. Disheartening, but still...

ASME: Specifically HPPV (Human Powered Paper Vehicle). Crissy, our fearless leader, has developed some AMAZING goop for her old team, three years ago. This stuff is essentially like making a bike entirely out of resin, only without the resin. It's just glue and shredded up newspaper, and compared to the typical practice of gluing LOTS of cardboard together, it is AMAZINGLY strong AND flexible. We are currently in the INCREDIBLY envious position of testing and prodding this stuff to find out exactly what it is capable of, while developing techniques of using it. Problem 1: It may act like resin, but is uses wood glue, which needs to air dry. This caused major problems last year when, expecting the bike to dry in a few weeks, it wasn't dry months later. That was because the room we were drying it in was humid due to a busted steam pipe, and this year we've been evicted and moved into a much nicer place (we seriously have our own office, though admittedly not much else). Needing to air dry causes other interesting problems, such as finding ways to make the molds we want, while still allowing airflow. This is clearly a work in progress. Problem 2: We're missing two of our bike parts, plus the spare we made for testing. We didn't move our stuff, and some of the stuff would have been thrown out if Crissy hadn't prevented that. Sadly, during the move some key (they're all key) components were misplaced, and we need to remake them. This is the exciting part for me. Crissy and Eric have a tendency to, no offense to them, spin their wheels without some clear direction to go in. As such, last meeting, when it was decided that we would not only need to remake the parts, but would also need to acquire a not insignificant amount of new stuff in order to do so, I was the one to break down into nuts and bolts, getting them to start pricing items, deciding on a budget, and making plans to get $$ to acquire said items. I still call Crissy our fearless leader because, honestly, I would not even be doing this if it weren't for her, but I've taken on a distinctly leading role, and it excites me! WHICH REMINDS ME. On the way to last week's meeting, I ran into Heremphthfthph, and dragged him along. He needed to fulfill the same requirements for Engr 120 that brought me to the ASME in the first place, but I'm really hoping he'll start coming to meetings regularly. I think he'll find that once he gets used to the team, he'll start becoming a part of it. Everybody's a rookie when they start out.

Quick post

Oww, I didn't realize how long it has been since my last post.

Since then I've been working my arse off trying to keep on top of various homeworks and tests. That's not quite finished yet, tomorrow I've got to take out a significant chunk of my not insignificant calc and chem homework, but thankfully I'll be working with Cole, which motivates me very well.

I've been staying up far too late far too often and as a result my head is leaking various viscous fluids. Thankfully I'm going to be able to sleep in late tomorrow, but for this next week I'm going to have to be very careful about not staying up late.

Already it's far too late for me, but I wanted to do a quick post as I haven't done one in a long while, and I figure certain parties would be interested in how my birthday went. In short, it was awesome. In long, me and a bunch of my friends got together and played Minecraft, which if you haven't heard of it, is a sandbox style building/mining game where you work with big square blocks made of various materials. When we left I was battling with the game's confusing water dynamics to create a waterslide, Thor made an elevator and Cole was building an epic bachelor pad (complete with juke-boxes). This was all ridiculously fun, and I had a great time.

Insomnia Helps with Reading

"Something funny."- Scud

Ok this seriously has to stop. I haven't managed to get to sleep before 1:30 for the past two weeks, and it's caught up with me. I've officially gotten insomnia because of that skinny bastard. On the plus side, I've decided to try reading The Lord of the Rings again. I tried it out last night, and the casual, some might say meandering, writing style of Mr. Tolkien was really relaxing. Too bad it stops helping once the lights are out and the shadows are back...

Super Effective

I really need to get over this slenderman thing. I haven't slept well since I saw it over a week ago...

Cooking is awesome. I love cooking. I have, as of this evening, not only roasted a chicken (with stuffing thankyouverymuch) but ALSO prepared a complete meal of fish, veggies and mashed garlic potatoes. The chicken: AMAZING. Stuffing is the most delicious part of the chicken. Better yet, I've still got leftovers for tomorrow (and I made it YESTERDAY). The fish: Not so much, but still pretty good. I made a lemon, butter, garlic sauce and used far too much garlic and lemon juice. My roomie (who's tastebuds are in directly opposite alignment to my own) loved it, and says it needs MORE lemon juice and garlic. It does not matter, as next time I make fish I'm goinna try using less and see how that works out. I'm SO excited! I'm learning what works and what does not!

I even got everything timed PERFECTLY. Once I was done eating, it was time to head off to Engineers Without Borders (Hay! Nice segway dude! Inorite?). I'm part of a group that is working on designing modifications to, and testing, a bilge pump so that it can be sold in Africa as a cheap and reliable water pump for farming villages. The organization we're working with was started by WSU students and professors, and they want to become larger by earning grants from several foundations (all of which escape me at the moment). In order to do this, they have to show that they're worthwhile, so we're trying to produce documentation on this product of theirs (the modified pump). I'm really excited because I've become one of the three main people who talk about the pump, what we need to do and etc. I know I need to be concerned about not shutting people out, but I'm just REALLY excited to be contributing on this scale.

Horror upon Horrors

It's not that Nerf is not allowed in Pullman, it's just that it's not allowed INSIDE in Pullman. You can have it, you just can't keep it in your house... They're not worried about people with things that could by some severe stretch of the imagination be mistaken for guns being outside where people might see them, they're worried about people with things that could by some severe stretch of the imagination be mistaken for guns being INSIDE.

The title of this post is literal. I have exactly two horrors in my life that I'm dealing with right now. First, I'm afraid I may be becoming overly obsessive about keeping the house clean. Second, I'm afraid there's going to be a very, tall, shall we say slender, gentleman wearing a black suit around every single corner, and this terrifies me.

When we were starting out, Clinton told me that he wanted the apartment to be so clean that people thought girls lived here. As of recent, getting him to clean feels like pulling teeth. He readily admits that he was not raised in the most tidy of environments, and he uses this as a reason not to clean. He simply doesn't think it's dirty. There are three things in particular where we clash; dishes, the living room, and board games. He has a habit of leaving dishes around and forgetting about them. When he does "clean" them, he typically just leaves them in the sink to soak. I will preemptively admit that I now understand some of why living with Dad and I drives Mum up the wall. As with various dishes, he also tends to leave generally everything laying around the living room, and sees nothing wrong with this, saying that we can live there just fine. This honestly bothers me, because I can't seem to come up with an argument that counters this. Yes we can live there, but it's not the same as having a genuinely clean place to be. This also ties in to his view on board games. Clinton is obsessed over board and card games. To this end, he wants all his games immediately accessible at all times, and as such refuses to put them away in a closet. I have made a compromise with him, and we keep them in boxes behind the back door. There is room here and they are out of the way, which is acceptable. Last night, however, Thor's parents were over, and Clinton dragged the games out, and never put them back.

But that's mostly just backstory. All this bothers me, and it's going to be an ongoing battle/compromise, but I only told you that to tell you this. I'm wondering if I should relax my push to keep the house perfectly tidy and just let things slide a bit. Clinton is right in that we're not doing THAT badly, and I'm afraid that if we DID clean to the degree that I'd like, there would be no time for anything else. I've erected a chore chart in the living room to keep track of what's been done and what needs to be done. This to the great amusement of Thor, Clinton, Clinton's girl friend, etc. I am the house mom, and Clinton has said on many occasions that they are humoring me. I'm just wondering how much is me being psychotic and obsessive, and how much is Clinton's low standards.

The second horror is Slender Man and Marble Hornets, which I will not speak about here. Suffice it to know that the internet has created what I consider to be a truly terrifying concept, and if you really like scary things, search for Marble Hornets on YouTube. As it is, I watched their videos last Friday, and even now I'm still checking over my shoulder and turning lights on unnecessarily.

On the Ball

There is a water jug in the parking lot outside my apartment. A full one. The kind you put in the top of those things that dispense water where all your co-workers hang out to talk. It has been there for the past two weeks. I'm hoping it'll stay there during winter so we can see what happens when it freezes.

On the ball is not exactly how I would describe myself right now. I'm still getting used to living in the apartment. I'm still getting used to school (especially having to hike over several bloody big hills to get from the apartment to class). The real problem is really a combination of the two. That and the fact that my schedule and Cole's rarely sync up so we can work together. Let me explain.

As I have ranted about before, it takes a really long time to get from campus to the apartment. In order to alleviate this, I've been trying to minimize the times I need to make this trip each day by packing all the text books I need into my dutiful backpack before I go. This makes for an extremely heavy (and bulky) load, but it seems necessary.

I also pack myself a lunch, but come dinner, I need to head back. Dinner is currently on an "every man for himself" basis, Clinton and I are trying to change this, but so far that's the way it goes. This means, that I have to invest a considerable amount of time at home.

Meanwhile, Cole and I have not been working together. I've found I am far more productive with him around. Not necessarily looking over my shoulder, just around. In contrast, I find I cannot work at the apartment, because nobody else does. They might disagree with me, but I can only speak for my experiences, and I rarely see either of my roomies working there. Sometimes they will be in their rooms, doing whatever, but often they will be doing something in the living room, and inevitably I will get sucked into it as well.

Because of this environment, I have gotten far less work done than I would have liked. I have been far less prepared for classes than I would have liked, and while I could tell horrible stories about my first Chem lab, on this subject, I will not.

Keeping on top of things is a continual struggle, and honestly I'm not doing that badly, but I do have a ways to go until I am satisfied.

Copy/Pasta

Dear Aunt Elaine

Actually, sharing meals was mostly Clinton's idea. I'm still getting settled in to living here, so this week I'm trying harder to cook regular meals. Once that happens I'll worry seriously about meal costs, but yes the plan was to allocate dues based on the cost of each meal (based off the Man/Meal tally sheet from the Impoverished Student's Handbook).

As for school, it's going well, I just need to get caught up on homework (or at least not fall so far behind that I'm missing due dates). I'm taking Japanese 101, which is exciting because I was unsatisfied with my Japanese class in high school (excellent teacher but it was getting phased out so I got passed on to the second year without really being competent). I'm also taking Calc II, which will be interesting because Calc I was mostly review for me, so this year I'll be learning more advanced integration techniques. Linear algebra is really easy so far, but it's a bit weird. I can't really predict where it's going, so I don't know how it's going to get more complex from here, but we'll see. Chem I've got my reservations about. Chem is generally confusing at best, but according to Cole (a friend of mine from AHS) we got a remarkably good chem education, so again I'll wait and see. I'm also taking a CAD class (required for an ME degree) and learning to use Solidworks. I learned to use Autodesk Inventor through Skunkworks, and already I much prefer Inventor over Solidworks. Mostly I just prefer the layout, it's much more intuitive. Solidworks tries to do too much for the user without giving them the option to do it themselves, and relies too much on adaptive windows and toolbars (ie. toolbars that change based on what's selected or what you are doing), while Inventor doesn't change it's toolbars much, and doesn't seem to worry so much about organization. According to Clinton, Inventor uses better physics engines when it's making analyses, but honestly I never learned how to use those tools.

As far as coming home, I'm thinking about trying to get home this next weekend. There's some things I'd like to get from there (like a proper soup-pot), but I suspect that I'll opt not too. Sometime soon I'll have to track down the dates of all the school breaks, but navigating the school website is a pain unique to recruitment and bureaucracy.

- Jay

P.S. You're officially getting more info about school from me than Mum does, so I'm going to copy/paste some of this to the blog she has me writing for that purpose. Hope that's not a problem.

Displacement

Looking out the window of the library just now, the grey sky obscures a distant hill enough that, as it rises above the Palouse, I immediately mistook it for an island. Then reality set in and I knew what I wanted to write about.

I really miss Seattle. I know I complain about living here all the time, and generally it's jokes and hyperbole, but there's more than a grain of truth to it all. I complain about the lack of trees here, and everybody says "but there's trees here!" and I say there aren't. WSU is an island in the middle of a desert. I can see the edge of it from where I'm sitting now. That's not a way to live. If I'm being honest, the general tree saturation here isn't all that different than, say, my neighborhood, but in Seattle you get patches of unused land filled with trees. Here, the trees are corralled and kempt, and if they weren't watered they would likely die. I miss the air back home. I miss not having my mouth and throat constantly dry. Every time I inhale, my nose burns with the dry air, scented by dry, lacquered wood. I especially miss the Sound. Not that I saw it all that often, or that I would think about it or take note very often, but suddenly I have a great urge to see it.

What I don't miss is living at home. I truly enjoy being able to see a mess in the living room, or in my room, or in ANY room, and being able to tackle it on my own without worrying about who's stuff I was misplacing. I like cooking for myself, and shopping for myself, and I really like having the initiative to do it on my own, because when I'm at home I can feel myself turning off.

I know that my present plan is going to take me very far away from home, and that's got me thinking; when does home stop being that house beside the school? Say I do get into JPL. Say I'm happy working there. California is damn far apart from Seattle, both physically and environmentally. At the risk of invoking the demon of Klishay, home is where the heart is, and my heart is definitely in Seattle, so does this mean I'm just doomed to be perpetually discontent by my environment? What about the long term? Can I plan on retiring there? I'd honestly love to become a teacher at AHS one day, but it's my impression that people generally settle down where they land. Maybe I find somewhere I like more than Seattle.

There's not too much point to this train of thought, but it does tend to make me very thirsty.

Validation

I am playing a reality-based, horror GURPS game. My character (based off me) has taken Gadgeteer. Once per session I can have whatever it is that I need at the time. Even if I've been searched and had everything taken immediately previous. GURPS is officially > DnD.

I may now no longer take any crap about complaining about the commute between the apartment and campus. I in the week I've been here, I've had to make that commute at least 20 times. Originally I was just worried about the time it would take to go from the library, to my room, and back, and my family told me off about that, now I really AM fed up with the distance. Not only is net elevation change MUCH greater than last year (INCLUDING time spend in the goddamned elevator) the FINAL elevation change is greater!

Worse, you can't go straight ANYWHERE. EVERY SINGLE BUILDING POSSIBLE IS PLACED EXACTLY IN THE WAY. Inevitably, whatever path I take, I've gone at least twice as far as I would have last year.

Now, I don't mean to say I'm fed up or anything. Honestly, I like the amount of exercise I'm getting, and I can deal with the time it takes. Eventually I'm not going to be late for any of my classes. What I am saying is that anybody who wants to give me crap for complaining about this can shove it.

It's hot, I'm tired, and I've already gone to and from campus three times. Up and down a big-ass hill.

Apartment Mom

I find it unsurprising that I am much more responsible and cleanly when I'm out of the house.

I have become the apartment mom. I spent the morning nagging Clinton to stop watching TV and help me tidy the living room. I dragged Thor out of his room to help, and together we got this place looking quite presentable. Of course, I was the one vacuuming after the other two split, but I'm just going to make one of them do that next month. That's another thing. Apparently I'm also the one setting up our chore schedule and our budget sheet (though I admit to not making much advancements on the latter).

My main concern is being able to maintain this habit, but judging from last year, that won't be too much of a problem. Cleaning and tidying are a welcome break from school work, especially when one is able to, with good reason, take the time regardless of workload. It's a mandatory day of rest, which is still productive

Groceries

All of us here in the apartment are very tired at this point. By "all of us" I mean me and Clinton. His girlfriend had left moments prior, and he and I were mock fighting. I had put a plastic bag on top of (read ON TOP OF not over) his head and was shouting "ASTRONAUT!" gleefully, and he was mock threatening me with stabby violence. He must have still been running on girlfriend mode, because when the altercation came to a close, and I turned back to what I was doing (making dinner), he kissed me lightly (one might almost say lovingly) on the shoulder. I have given him no end of crap about this. He is significantly embarrassed, it really is wonderful to watch.

For the first time in my life, I have bought groceries for my own living separate from Mum. I hate the feeling that I'm spending far too much on everything, but we were very frugal, didn't buy anything we had any chance of not using, and I feel good about it. Living is interesting now, because we talk about how we're going to do the smallest of things, we're building a life of our own. It's interesting. There've been disagreements, like I enjoy the privacy of my room, and I've run a LAN cable up here so I can do hardwire stuff (such as bank accounts) in the convenience of my own room. Clinton worries that Thor and I are going to keep to our rooms, and wants me to take the LAN cable down. He grew up with very little privacy, and wants room mates, and worries that we're just going to become co-habitats. Thor doesn't care and he'll stay to his room if he feels like is. I however, grew up with tons of personal time, and I don't like having it encroached on if I can help it. That said, I noticed that Sister and I don't really do much together because we both keep to our rooms (or rather I do). Still, I don't think that's going to be an issue here because I already spent far too much time being social today (and it's bitten me in the foot).

DIS ARE TING I AR MEENIN TA BEEN UPDATIN WIT

GIV ME LINKA?

(Origional title: HAY LOOKIT ME! AHMA BLOGGIFICATIN'!)

I love sarcasm. Say somebody's talking to you about something you have no context for. They say something like "Yeah I got a 79%!" all you need to say is "Congrats," and sound at least a little sincere about it. If that number is good, then they assume you're being sincere, but if it's bad, sarcasm comes in to save the day, and they think you're being sarcastic and go on blathering at you.

Things to talk about:
Ficly
Why I haven't been blogging
Leading up to the ASME competition
The ASME competition <- I got mostly through here. The rest is forgotten.
Current state of things
ATLANTA!

Ficly:
AH'VE BEEN WRITIN'!
LOOKITMEGO!
I found out about Ficly through Wil Wheaton and one of his podcasts. When I started out I was having so much fun! Then I kinda petered out. Then I went about a month without posting anything. I tried, I honestly tried, but nothing came to me. Then, one day while I was avoiding work (we'll talk more about that later), I was reading Every day Weirdness, and I was simply stunned by how incredible those writers are. I felt inspired, so I immediately stopped going through my list of bookmarks, and went for a walk around campus to see if I couldn't get any inspiration.

Nothing came. At least, not until I reached the Northmost point on campus. I had been thinking about what I consider my best story (Pop), and how if only I could do something like that again, and how I would probably never do something like that again, and how I probably had done several things as good as that but I wasn't recognizing them and thinking that my writing was not living up to that was preventing me from writing more and getting better. My mind jumped around a lot and it was hard to get any real THINKING done. But thinking about that story somehow led me into what became my idea for a sequal!

I was elated. I was giggling as I made the story more and more creatively vile. This process of running through material in my head led to another idea. This one I liked, but I wanted to work on my first one some more. I knew it would stick (and indeed it has), so I stuck it on the back burner, still just a frame of a story, and went back to being elated at how well I was doing. By this time I had gone about half again as far as I did before the first inspiration struck me.

Let me put this in some more context, however. I don't feel like I have properly explained how giggling, creepy smiley, hop skippy I was. I had spent about a month, and not a single day went by where I wasn't aware of how little I was writing. Ficly, being a community, needs feeding and care, and I wasn't feeding it anything. Worse, I couldn't come up with ideas. I spend most of my idle time coming up with stories and ideas, I have ever since my family started taking long drives up to Whistler or Vancouver, but here I was with nothing. Then, in one delightful flash of inspiration, it came back to me!

By this time, I had decided to cut my walk short. Instead of walking the full circumference of campus, I would head back to the library about half way through. I had two ideas and I desperately needed to write them down so I wouldn't forget them. I was walking through the library's second set of doors when I had my third idea. Now, I'll let you know I've not written any of these stories. Looking back, I'm none too thrilled by them (except for the third, I like that one), but the important bit was where they de-clogged my creative brain. Since then, I've written more than a few stories. I'm EVEN feeling guilty for not updating one of my TWO ongoing projects when I intended to. This is a good place to be in, and the moral of this story.

Why I haven't been blogging:
It's a combination of a percieved pileup of homework and Ficly, but mostly ASME. What with the ASME competition, Atlanta, and midterms, I really wanted to be caught up with homework before leaving. As such, I doubled my workload, with the intent of getting lots done and caught up. It was a very feasible plan... except, I didn't do enough of it. See, piling on more work makes me weary. I get that age old problem where I see so much work in front of me, and I just don't want to do any of it. Because of that, I spent perhaps a bit too much time on Ficly, and not enough on homework. Now, I haven't been blogging because I SAW so much work, and saw myself not getting enough of it done, so I figured that I didn't have time to do blog, or a number of other things that I really did have time for, and really should have gotten done much earlier. So yea, not a good situation to be in.

Again, with the ASME competition coming up, the Student Design team was kinda getting into crunch time, only not very many people were making time to meet and work on it. I was one of three people who actually met every day for the two weeks before the competition, and because each meeting went from four-ish to late, I really didn't have much time for homework. In hind sight, I probably should have been more resolved to work on homework, but I felt justified in using that tie on the competition. It didn't pay off, but I'm glad I stuck through with it till the end.

Leading up to the ASME competition:
This wasn't exactly a good year to join the ASME Student Design Competition at WSU. This whole time, I've just been waiting for the team to get together and work, and really unimpressed with the results. That said, I'm glad that I stuck through with it till the end (or at least very close to it). Firstly, when I first started going, I was told that they were about 9 weeks in. They only had a very vague 3-D model of their machine. I recall thinking that in 9 weeks Skunkworks would have gotten this planned, built, tested, and possibly rebuilt.

But like I said, I kept coming, and basically each meeting was spent making lists of reasons why we couldn't start building, and keeping track of which of those things we'd checked off. When we did finally start building, the construction, having been built off vague ideas, was shoddy and temporary. They didn't want to invest too much into it, and didn't want to make anything permanent, and that's how it went for a couple months.

At some point, we started having two meetings a week, and then a couple of weeks in, me and two other people on the team (Crissy and Eric) started going in every day. I did this because they did, and I had developed a stipulation for working on the project, that I couldn't be the only one working on it at that time. Crissy and Eric started working on it because the other competition teams (RC Baja and the Human Powered Paper Vehicle) had nothing to do. Eventually, RC Baja started working again, and they switched over to that, so I stopped working as hard on the recycler.

It's important to note that this was in the week before the competition, and the machine still wasn't functioning. Our design wasn't exactly solid, it was based on two conveyor belts, none of which worked, and it was literally held together with duct tape, rubber bands and wire. Finally, the whole team pitched in (sans Crissy and Eric, but that's perfectly understandable) during the two days before we left, and we got it to within a reasonable facsimile of functioning condition (though we still needed to wire the whole thing the night before the competition).

The ASME competition:
Short version: It was fun.
Long version: We didn't do well.
So here's the story. Like I said before, we were still working on the bloody thing the night before the competition. We wired it up, built some boxes for it to deposit its recyclables into. Let me tell you about the boxes. The requirements say they need to be opaque. Most other teams used those opaque, plastic storage bins. We had cardboard at hand, so we used that. I had checked the forums that are supposed to clarify rules (I'll not get started on this system of rules), and they said that the boxes simply had to allow the judges to see the sorted items. So we either cut our boxes low, or cut slots in their sides.

Come the actual competition, my final struggle for the team was just getting the bloody box to fit the requirements for entry. We had to pull together two more boxes (which we basically just found) for two materials that we weren't planning on sorting, we had to clearly label our on-off switch (which I promptly labeled incorrectly), and we had to find ONE LAST PIECE of material to sort. Each team had to submit 3 pieces of each type, tin can (as in soda), steel can (as in soup), plastic bottle, and glass jars. Thing is, the dimensions for the glass jars were TINY, specifically baby-food tiny. So that's what we did. We bought baby food and ate it. WELL, the group leader, Sam, ate it. She suggested it because apparently she does it all the time. It IS just mashed fruit, so why not? well, the first time they bought some (and ate it), they found out it was too small. SO they had to go BACK to the store, and buy more. They brought that to us JUST IN TIME to present it and qualify us, so we were officially competing at that point.

But there was an even MORE fun bit standing in our way even then.

THEN CAME THE COMPETITION ITSELF! The main problem with our design, indeed ALL the designs there, was the hopper. Those IDIOTS who designed the rules said you couldn't have ANY mechanisms

Beautiful

So I found out about Ficly thanks to Wil Wheaton, and I am so excited about it. I've come up with a couple of story ideas, and I need to start putting them up there. This was one, and I'm immensely proud of it. Sadly, Ficly only gives you room for 1024 characters, and this one ran too long. So, while I'm thinking about shortening it to fit, here's the full version.

Beautiful.

The landscape was beautiful. It was nearing sunset, and the air was starting to take that orange tone reminiscent of tired afternoons proceeding days spent with family at the park or the zoo. The mountains jutted up, through the cloud layer like tall, thin trees, and cast impossibly long, blue shadows that contrasted with the evening light of the billowy landscape as it flowed around those towering peaks. Sometimes, where the stolid mountains forced a tear in that blanket of clouds, a cavernous world could be seen, but no ground. Just those great spires stretching down for an eternity, like ancient tree trunks with no roots. All this was so impossibly far away that, even though he had been falling for some time now, maybe hours, he still hadn't even neared the cloud layer, but he wasn't looking down. Instead, he was turned upward, staring at that spot in the sky, where the towering cliff, so much taller than any mountain, arched through the sky and came to a point far above him. Colored dark by its own shadow, the cliff looked like a wide tear in the pure blue material of the sky, and he stared at it with dry eyes. He had no more energy left to cry. He could no longer see that vantage point, with its quarter-for-ten-minutes telescopes, and its ice cream stands, and red-brown dirt and gravel road, and other families visiting for the day; and little Jimmy Whittaker sincerely wished he had not tripped.

Uneasy Waters Ahead

I don't know if this is funny or not, but I've gotten into Ficly, under Jason Month at
http://ficly.com/authors/fun_but_rambling
I figure that I'll 'publish' something eventually.

This weekend I broke my habit and I'm regretting it. Yesterday, Saturday, is the day I reserve for doing incidentals like tidying up, doing laundry, checking accounts and the like. But there was ASME stuffis yesterday, so instead I tried to get work done. But I need that break from the work week, otherwise I get tired, and listless, and above all depressed about how much I think I have to do. Imagine this last week colored a comfortably warm shade of red. I was on the ball. This next week, imagine a shade of rolling grey-blue. It feels like when you've taken off your jacket, but the room is just slightly too cold, so you've gotten cold, but not cold enough to notice, or take the effort to put your jacket on. So your arms feel chilled and lifeless. I'mona put my jacket on because that's more reality than fiction.

Anywhoo, I'm convinced it's all in my head, because I really don't have that much more due than normal, and it's all entirely manageable. Like today. I FEEL like I have everything to do, and haven't gotten much done, but when I look at my list, it tells me I really don't have that much to do (though I've still gotten less of it done than I should). At anywhoo. I'm just worried I guess. And incoherant. That too. But that's normal.

I've been plagued with two feelings lately. The feeling that I should be working, because I've got a lot to do and not enough time to do it, and the feeling that if I'm not working, I should be doing my hobbies. Problem is, feeling like I've got a lot to do makes me tired, so I don't want to work at work, and I don't want to work at play either. And lately, my hobbies have leaned away from those nice mindless things like e-comics or TV or movies. I've reciently gotten through all my e-comics, and I don't want to start up again on my list so soon, and I don't really find movies or TV all that enjoyable right now. So I'm left with my hobbies, and although I'm really proud that I've filled my spare time with such constructive things, they're all such hard work, and my mood demands something relaxing and brainless. So I don't do anything, which makes me bored, which makes me listless, which makes me think of all the work I need to do.

Anywhoo. I'mona muddle though it like a scout muddles through mud (while it's raining and his shoes are soaked). I've got alot of cold and wet imagery right now... I was trying to write a Ficly story earlier, and that's all that I came up with. Weird. It's sadly not as cold and dreary as I'd like it. We've had, like, two days of decently rainy weather. Anywhoo cole's packing up so so shall I

Engineering 120

So this morning, just like every Thursday morning, I woke up at 7, with the knowledge that I had to be up and moving in time to get to my CompS 121 lab at 8. I decide to sleep in till 7:20. It takes me 20 minutes to get my teeth brushed and my personal effects in order. It takes me ten minutes to make sure I've got everything I need for today in my backpack. I'm out the building by 7:55. On the way down, knowing it would make me late, I decide that I'll get breakfast before going to a several hour long lab in which I really won't be doing all that much of anything. By the time I'm out the building, I decide to just skip my useless Econ 102 class instead, and get breakfast then, so I begin to trudge down to the ME/EE building where my lab is. At about 7:58 I arrive at the classroom, full of computers, and vacant of any students or teachers. Then, just like every Thursday morning, I remember that my CompS 121 lab is on Friday, rather than Thursday, and I leave to get breakfast.

I really hate Engineering 120 right now. This is a very sad thing, because it's not a bad class, it's the group I've been paired with. They are both frat-boys, who wear colorful and ugly clothing, and talk about girls. I know it shines them in a worse light than perhaps they deserve, but every time I think of them, I remember one of their conversations that I overheard as they unenthusiastically worked on that day's assignment (consequently shutting out the one guy who actually WOULD enjoy the assignment). They were talking about some girl, presumably of loose morals, that they both knew. Apparently neither had seen anything of this girl since she got pregnant from some guy. Apparently it ruined her hotness...

But I digress. I really hate this group, because these two are unenthusiastic and hard to work with, because they practically shut me out. I'm mentioning this in my blog post today, because I have Engr 120 later today, there is a project document based on today's lesson due this Sunday, and if the last document assignment is any indication, they will wait until the last day to get the document done, and they will both do a crappy job. Last time, I had borked up my homework enough so I didn't have enough time to fix the document before turning it in. Today, I am going to suggest that they let me take care of the document, though I really don't suspect this will meet a good reaction. Either they will be against the idea because A) I almost messed everything up last time or B) they won't like that I don't trust them, OR they will be for the idea because they're completely unenthusiastic about the whole project. This last option, although superficially good for me, is equally as disheartening, because this is the "robotics" assignment, and I've been stuck with two fools willing to make only the minimal effort, who cannot for the life of them follow a development procedure that would make a complete document possible. Now, I'm afraid I don't have COMPLETE right to complain, because I haven't brought up these complaints with them, and I'm certain if they read this blog that'd be their first defense. HOWEVER, the way these two have managed to shut me out denys the ability to make any complaint, and suggests the possibility of an extremely negative reaction to anything that requires more than the minimal effort. I know this because I've TRIED to wedge myself into the assignment to no avail. I've TIRED to contribute. I really hate this group. That is not to say they are bad partners. In fact, they work very well together, because they are both very friendly to each other, and I'm sure were their third partner of a similar disposition as themselves, they would heartily welcome him or her into their circle of self perpetuating boredom and listlessness*.

The thought comes to mind that they probably see me as exactly the kind of person to keep my opinions to myself and complain about it on my blog. Who am I to disagree?

Furthermore, I'm unenthusiastic about the class myself. Now, that doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself. I don't consider it a rip-roaring time, but performing a proper procedure (say that ten times fast) has its appeal. However, Cole warned me that this class would be simplistic (like middle school level) and poorly defined, and he was completely correct. The teacher gives us a one or two page assignment outline with everything he wants covered in our document, and then presents a powerpoint that suggests a class assignment that contradicts this assignment. I wanted to work on what I thought was the first part of our document before class, so I could get as much done as possible on my own time, but now I'm unsure of what the teacher even wants. So instead I'll wait to talk to him before class, then suffer through a horribly botched experiment and development process, only to finish class by suggesting that "maybe I could do the document myself because (let's face it) you guy's are hacks."

Fun times.

*I almost said disenchantment here, but I decided to change it because DISenchantment implies they were at some point enthusiastic, and I do not believe this is the case. Dave is disenchanted because he had expectations. I think they expected to be bored out of their mind, and so they are.

Four Sixteen and all is well in the swamp.

So apparently, despite the fact that it IS possible to create a "controller" type wizard, there are NO situations in which one is useful.

Nothing much to report today. I'm getting better. Gotten over that chunk of horrible that built up when I spent last weekend entirely focused on spending time with friends, and I don't think I came out of it too horribly scarred. Things are looking pretty good again, but I've gotta keep the ASME in mind when I make plans for the future, because I've still got a lot of potential plans for that.

Speaking of the ASME, why don't I FINALLY explain what they are and why they're fun. The ASME is actually an engineering group called the American Society of Mechanical Engineers, and the WSU group here participates in three different competitions, hosted by the ASME. First is the Student Design Competition, which is what I'm mostly a part of right now. This competition changes each year (a lot like FIRST), only instead of being really clear and heavy on rules when the competition comes out, they give you a three page PDF and tell you to keep constant tabs on the FAQ for more clarity (completely unlike FIRST). Furthermore, you get pretty much a full year to work on a fairly simple (but deceptively open and complex) project. It's very interesting comparing this competition to FIRST because even though it's less pressured, it seems much more realistic. This year's competition is to build a machine that automatically sorts various recyclable materials into plastic, aluminum, tin and glass. Problem is my team has very little money, almost no tools a resources, and no adult mentorship. They're literally building the team up from scratch. So yeah. It's not everybody's cup of tea, but I think I could help get the team built up to something much more impressive. But lately I've not really been too focused on it. I dunno... We'll have to see how things turn out. I've got time to work and if I' just keep working on it each week, something's bound to get done.

Head in the Dead

Heh. The title of today's post reminds me of a certain DnD flaw.

So seeing as I'm sick, tired, and... I'm trying to think of a really nasty description of my head right now, but I can't. My head is too whatever it is to figure out what to call whatever my head is. So yeah. Imagine I said something entirely convincing that my head is so very whatever it is that whatever my head is makes normal heads that are whatever my head is (which is to say heads that are whatever my head is, that are normally not whatever my head is, but are currently in a normal level of whatever my head is) look like whatever they normally look like and not whatever my head is.

So yeah. I'm pretty sure I'm caught up to whatever level of work I need to be caught up to. I'm just sick. Terribly sick. I'm so sick that I can't sleep, which is, as I'm sure you can understand, distressing. Also, thanks to Cole and Arras, I'm very tempted to start watching Helsing.

Seriously. Every time I exhale, I feel like my breath should be VISIBLE... and green.

What else... There were a BUNCH of things that I should have written down here, only I never did. Now they're lost to the ages. Sads.

Quickie before Calculus

So when my Biology 101 teacher was starting us out, she told her class that her goals were to teach us basic concepts that we could use. To that end, she would include a quick segment on some of the diseases and disorders associated with each part of the body. Translate this to "you WILL suffer from hypochondria by then end of class. Everything WILL hurt just slightly, and you will be jittery as hell and afraid of EVERYTHING."

Not to say it's a bad class, but it's kinda nerve wracking to see all those images of people opened up in various creative and bloody ways.

Quickie Before Bed

I've recently been told by my sister that I have entertaining status messages. I'd like to think this means I'm doing it right.

So earlier this evening, I was absolutely hysterical about my credit card and FAFSA and all that. This means my system is NOT complete. I've HAD a system for keeping track of my credit, debit and RDA (WSU foodmonies) accounts for AGES. I'd perfected it, then proceeded NOT to use it. No system is so infallible that it still works when the user DOESN'T use it. Sadly, I tried implimenting it earlier, and something was broken, so it looks like I need to take the metaphorical hammer to the programming AGAIN. Hopefully this time I'm going to actually USE it, so it'll stay proper.

I've decided to start reading Will Wheaton's blog, along with listening to Radio Free Burrito. When I think about him, I get that thing in my stomach that churns up when I feel like I'm missing out on something AMAZING, while everybody else is enjoying it and excelling because of it. I think that feeling is the main driving force behind all of my goals. The feeling makes me want to ignore him, and go back to blissful ignorance, which doesn't make any sense, because being ignorant of the situation is what caused the feeling in the first place. I feel I must explain. Listening to Will Wheaton is fun. I enjoy it, but it's a little depressing too. Growing up I always felt that I should have known more than I did. I should have put more effort into learning Visual Basic that one time in middle-school. I should have put more effort into learning skills ON MY OWN, but I didn't. I know TONS of people who learn things better when they're self taught, but I can't seem to pick ANYTHING up on my own. This constant feeling of inadequacy drives, or used to drive, a great deal of my life. I really can't cite much solitary learning, but since middle-school I've wanted to be more natural and friendly in groups. People who know me might agree that I've become extremely more extrovert since then, and this is evidenced by my plethora of friends, both in high school and now in college. All that was driven by that same nagging feeling of inadequacy I've had for as long as I can remember. Perhaps the thing I am most terrified of is the idea that somewhere something AMAZING is happening, and everybody knows about it but me. It could be anything from a free computer givaway, to a MAKER's club, and I'm bothered by that. Now, to the causal observer, all this might mean that I'm bothered by all this fun Will Wheatonism that I've missed out on, and to some extent that's true, but that's not the biggest problem. I listen to him, and in particular his latest podcast (ep. 22), and I hear about his life growing up with DnD and with geekery. He was in the THICK of it, and when he was just a little'n. Compared with me, I VOTED before I really got into DnD. Going further, he's grown into this amazing megalith of a geek maelstrom, thanks to a lifetime of amazing experiences. Listening to his podcasts, reading his blog, he's smart and funny and a good writer. Now the last thing I should do is compare his blog to mine, but like I said before, I just feel inadequate. I feel like I'm not moving fast enough.

I am told quite frequently by my friends and family that I am, if not amazing at VERY LEAST that I'm good. These are people I trust, and one of the most important lessons I've learned from scouting is that if you trust somebody and they give you a compliment, TRUST THEM. That said, I feel outclassed by then all. Cole's just an amazing person, what with acting and dress and just general personality. Lydia is a writer and a piano player, and although she'll probably contradict me at some points, she's got her head screwed on so straight she reminds me of my mother (an odd compliment, but she'll get). Loki's an amazing DM and I cannot even begin to describe how she's just an awesome PERSON, but I think she's underestimating herself (and maybe making a mistake) by going for a teaching career. Isaac is a super genius, everybody knows this. Griffin knows WAY more about computers than I do, and while that might not be much of a bar to surpass, he reminds me a great deal of Andy Kvalhiem, a geek I attribute much of my early development to. Ben is just amazing, and I honestly need to learn more from him. Braaaf is probably a better internerd an I am, and his humor and personality is something I'm envious of. Finally, Kyle is probably my closest friend, and I don't even have to mention Star Trek. I am incredibly envious of Kyle's history with Star Trek, in addition to his addiction to emulator games. I may have shown him POWDER, but he infected the rest. Then we get to me. I am known for e-comics. Now I assume that everybody else wouldn't consider their own talents as impressive as others (I might be wrong), but while e-comics are fun and nifty, they're not what I WANT to be good at. I think it was said best by Robin Williams in his interview in Inside the Actor's Studio, but (paraphrasing here) it's all about the joy of creation. I want to CREATE things, and not just ONE type of thing, I want to create EVERYTHING. I want to program text based RPGs, build walking robots that attack people randomly, 3-D touch screens (admittedly like those in Minority Report), RPG systems, music, stories, computer programs, and even my own comics. I have all these ideas, I assume everybody does, and if creation were as simple as coming up with an idea and working on it for a week the world would be FULL of ideas like this (Steve Jobs wouldn't be able to get away with making the iPod touch bigger and calling it "innovation"). The problem is it's not, but it's also not as hard as all that. First there's homework in the way. That just makes me want to goof off and waste time. I can't say whether or not I'd learn better if I could just do what I want, or learn what I want, but homework is homework, and all it takes is a hard working spirit to get through that. Then there's learning. With the internet, that's not that hard either, but it looks like jumping off the edge of a cliff. Again, it takes a hard working spirit to get through that as well. Then, Adam Savage tells us (in one column in the most recent MAKE magazine), there's the trial and error, and it just takes a hard working spirit to get through that. I don't have a hard working spirit. That's why I don't learn anything, and that's why I feel inadequate. I COULD do ALL these things, but I haven't had anything PUSHING me, and when all you've got to push you is yourself, a hard working spirit is VITAL.

I said it'd be quick, bt I guess I lied. This whole thing sounds like a weep-fest to me (which is what happens when you just write, and don't think things through before hand, but who wants to do that?), so let's put things in perspective. I've got a lot of friends and family who think a great deal of me, and encourage me and can teach me if I just ask. I've learned a good chunk on my own, and I've got more than a small number of personal projects that I'm actually making headway on. I'm also involved in ASME (which was the OTHER thing I meant to talk about here, but forgot) and if I can put in enough effort regularly, I can do so much with that it excites me. I've got a lot to be happy about and to look forward to. I just don't think it's ENOUGH, and that's what you should think about. That nagging feeling (the one I left behind some two very long paragraphs ago) may sometimes make me want to curl up and sleep every once in a while, but it DRIVES me. Recently I've been very happy with where I am, and that's good, but I WANT MORE. Thing is, and I hate to shift responsibility off myself, I get the feeling that if it hadn't been so hard to learn what I know I'd be happier, but I think that in the end it's always been up to me, and no one else.